Please don't say you love me 'couse I might not say it back
by werewolf-glader
Summary: Lydia admits her feelings towards Stiles, but he may no longer feel the same way about her. One shot.


I love you, Stiles.

"No," she pulls away from his hug, "forget I've ever said anything…"

Stiles looks down at her, observing her teary eyes. No matter how perfectly green they are while she cried, he hated the fact that he made her feel that way. All Stiles ever wanted was for Lydia to be safe and happy. Even if that meant he wasn't the one to wake up next to her every morning.

"But Lydia…"

"No, Stiles!" her voice is shaking, he barely recognizes the words. "No. I shouldn't have said that. I wish I didn't say that." It was only partly true. She should have said it, but not now, she should have done that long ago. Those four words were eating her insides for almost a year now, they were worse than voices inside her head. Those four words couldn't disappear when she screamed, they were always inside her mind, creeping like a monster, biting her brain and sinking its teeth into her heart. Lydia was always in control of her emotions, but it became different with Stiles. Stiles Stilinski, a boy who had a crush on her since a third grade, a boy who saved her more than once. Stiles, who was always there when she needed him. Maybe there was something between them, maybe there could have been something more, but she was never ready to admit it. It was stupid of her to think he would wait for her forever … there is no such thing as forever.

"You can't," Stiles shook his head, "you cannot play with me this way…"

She couldn't look at him in the eyes anymore."It was selfish of me, I know" Lydia says, "But I couldn't … couldn't keep it inside for any longer."When he raised his head up and locked his eyes with hers, she saw years of pain that she caused him. Now, she is only making it worse. What was she expecting, that he will just forget about Malia and be with her? No, she didn't think that, he cared about Malia, as much as she did about him.

"I loved you for half of my life. Hell, I still love you." He whispers. There will always be place in his heart for Lydia Martin - it will always skip a beat when she looks at him. Lydia Martin was and will always be a love of his life, a girl who he couldn't have, but he did have her. It didn't make sense at all, his mind works like a factory of thoughts right now.

"I get it, Stiles. We'll just pretend this conversation never happened. After all, we are good at pretending some things never happened." With those words she closed the door behind her. The lump in her throat only get bigger, and she knew she shouldn't be crying, but it hurts like a piece of her soul is missing. Her banshee power is useless here, if screams don't help, nothing ever will. Stiles is happy, she tells herself, and you are happy for him.

"But Lydia…"

"No, Stiles!" her voice is shaking, he barely recognizes the words. "No. I shouldn't have said that. I wish I didn't say that."

It was only partly a lie. She should have said it, but not now, she should have done that long ago. Those four words were eating her insides for almost a year now, they were worse than voices inside her head. Those four words couldn't dissapear when she screamed - they were always inside her mind, creeping like a monster, biting her brain and sinking its teeth into her heart. Lydia was always in control of her emotions, but it became different with Stiles.

Stiles Stilinski, a boy who had a crush on her since a third grade, a boy who saved her more than once. Stiles, who was always there when she needed him.

Maybe there was something between them, maybe there could have been something more, but she was never ready to admit it. It was stupid of her to think he would wait for her forever… there is no such this as forever.

"You can't," Stiles shook his head, "you cannot play with me this way…"

She couldn't look at him in the eyes anymore. "It was selfish of me, I know" Lydia says, "But I couldn't… couldn't keep it inside for any longer."

When he raised his head up and locked his eyes with hers, she saw years of pain that she coused him. Now, she is only making it worse. What was she expecting? That he will just forget about Malia and be with her. No, she didn't think that, he cared about Malia, as much as she did about him.

"I loved you for half of my life. Hell, I still love you. But things change, Lydia." He whispers. There will always be place in his heart for Lydia Martin - it will always skip a beat when she looks at him. Lydia Martin was and will always be a love of his life, a girl who he couldn't have, but he did have her. It didn't make sense at all, his mind works like a factory of thoughts right now.

"I get it, Stiles. We'll just pretend this conversation never happened. After all, we are good at pretending some things never happened." With those words she closed the door behind her. The lump in her throat only get bigger, and she knew she shouldn't be crying, but it hurts like a piece of her soul is missing. Her banshee power is useless here, if screams don't help, nothing ever will. Stiles is happy, she tells herself, and you are happy for him.


End file.
